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The Hot Buttons of Negativity
First thing, "What are hot buttons?" Hot buttons are those that, when people push them, you turn red and
out comes the anger, resentment, insecurity, and other negative emotions you wish weren't a part of your
life.
Imagine walking into every situation and circumstance lacking a single hot button that could be pushed. No matter how your opponents try to make you go crazy or drag you down, you remain untouched. Imagine
a jealous co-worker commenting to your boss, highlighting your weaknesses immediately before
you present an important proposal. Though you heard your co-worker's words, you let them fall away right in
front of your eyes. You remain calm and confident. The comment had no power to activate a negative
reaction in you. Instead, you go forward, delivering a wonderful, well-prepared presentation. And, toss a
loving smile back at your co-worker.
One of my mentors is a man with very few buttons. When I asked him how he reached this place, he told me that he had consciously devoted efforts into working on getting rid of the past. This allowed him to move slowly into not allowing the past to have a hold on him. He then progressed to forgiving people, asking God for forgiveness and forgiving himself as well. Once he forgives and accepts forgiveness, he blesses. After releasing forgiveness, any voice that comes to remind him of people who wronged him or mistakes
that he has made, he simply ignores the voice, starts blessing the people and blessing himself.
(I think he is so wise in releasing blessings to himself. So often, we get so busy in blessing
others and we forget this important step for ourselves.)
As you deal with each layer of unresolved matters, the next layer will surface as time passes. So,
don't worry too much about whether or not you have covered everything. You won't. Just be open to
receiving them as they come to your mind and heart. Jot them down. Then, forgive the people who have
wronged you. Forgive yourself for doing wrong to others. Do this for the old and new unresolved matters.
For the recurring unresolved matters, be open and face what you perceive.
For me, since I believe in God, I ask God to help me to forgive others and allow Him to forgive me and I forgive myself. Whenever I sense bitterness rising up from thinking or facing people that I have forgiven, I bless them. When I do that, with most people, I can honestly say that when I face them, I have totally forgotten what they have done to me. With a few people, blessing them doesn't help me to forget what they have done to me right away. But, I continue to forgive and bless them. And over the years, I have seen changes in my relationship with such people in my life. Perhaps you would call me a hopeless optimist. But, when you believe in the good things and good principles, things do go well for you. If you are a hopeless optimist like me, people may think that you have not gone through enough "hardship" in life. But you may be 16 years-old or 85 years-old, so only you know what you have gone through. Many times, circumstances don't change, but because your perspective changes, experiences also changes. Take an honest look at yourself to evaluate if unresolved matters have turned into hot buttons for you. Helen Chen is a Business and Life Coach. She specializes in partnering with remarkable individuals in business to get out of their own way and take themselves to the next fascinating new level of effectiveness and profitability. To receive her FREE ezine with proven tips and exercises to take yourself and your business to a SUREFIRE new level of success, go to www.HYCCoaching.com.
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